Friday, March 21, 2008

delusions of relevance


Michael Stipe, the 48 year-old leader of a band I never followed anyway announces he's gay "to help some kid somewhere."

Yes, that must clarify things immensely for confused teens everywhere when a bald, middle-aged man who writes music they wouldn't listen to even if they could download it for free comes out of the closet.

Monday, March 10, 2008

a lesson to be learned



For all aspiring politicians:

If you're going to be linked with a prostitute make sure it's one of those trendy male prostitutes, so you can use your wife as a fitting backdrop during an "I am NOT GAY" press conference. Your plausible deniability is much more limited if you've been caught consorting with old-fashioned female hookers. It's very 20th century.

According to the transcripts Gov. Spitzer "would ask you to do things that, like, you might not think were safe."

I guess that means he wanted to use a chandelier that wasn't over the bed?

All that said, however, I hope there is more to all this than what we see. I'd think the FBI must have better things to spend its time on than a simple prostitution ring when the director admits he's had to cut back on regular law-and-order policework due to the priority of the war on terror.

Thursday, March 06, 2008

David Caruso is... the new Jack Lord

In most media the red-haired characters are typecast as unconfident, ineffective, not-too-with-it sorts. Think Ritchie Cunningham on Happy Days needing Fonzie to explain things to him. There are no red-haired leading men, no red-haired action figures, no red-haired male models, no red-haired superheroes... I don't think there are even any red-haired porn stars.

So imagine the pride of red-headed people everywhere at this development:

David Caruso is (meaningful pause, don sunglasses) the new Jack Lord.



For those who don't recall:



Hawaii Five-O was a one-hour detective drama that had about 15 minutes of script padded out with long scenes of cars coming up driveways, pans across island scenery and beauty shots of Jack Lord's hair as he stalked about the crime scenes.