Friday, August 29, 2008

killed her a bar when she was only three

John McCain announces his VP pick and finally puts to rest those rumors that he's just a skirt-chasing, horny old guy.

Apparently she's a former Miss Alaska contestant. She might have won if it weren't for a serious miscalculation in the swimsuit competition:

On the plus side she has a reputation in her state for fighting corruption.

John McCain had to go all the way to Alaska to find a Republican with a reputation for fighting corruption.

I applaud her for being photographed wearing glasses.

It's a look that is traditionally limited to female laboratory scientists just before they get nailed by James Bond.

I can't think of any major politician in the last 40 years that allowed themselves to be defined as wearing glasses. Those better be real and not just those prop glasses you get from the International Male catalog.

But she's obviously in the pocket of Big Fur.

And she has a serious crab problem:

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

cue the banjos...

Two of the alleged Obama hitmen:

I don't want to say they're goofy lookin' but these pictures appear as if the Photoshop "caricature" filter had already been applied to them.

Friday, August 15, 2008

I have seen bigfoot

Some guys are holding a press conference to say they found a Bigfoot body.

But I have seen Bigfoot already.

I remember when i was about 12 or so, paying $1 to see the frozen body of a Bigfoot/Missing Link/Apeman at the Minnesota state fair.

While you waited in line they spun out a long story of how it had been accidentally shot by a hunter and how it was the object of a court case to decide if the hunter should be charged with murder depending on whether it was human or not.

But in the meantime they conveniently had it on ice for us to see!

Finally you get in the viewing room and peer into a giant chest freezer to see something encased in about a foot of ice. It seemed to be a hairy biped of some sort but there was a lot of strategically placed mud and dirt and blood (!) and bubbles frozen in the ice that prevented any clear examination of it. It was the in-person equivalent of a blurry bigfoot photograph.

I don't know how the court case came out. I'm sure the hunter is out of jail now as the penalty for shooting a crash dummy in a racoon coat must be pretty low.