Thursday, August 30, 2007

the naked mouse

Ever wonder what famous actors look like naked? Well, just like many other Hollywood stars, Mickey Mouse once did a tastefully brief nude scene, never imagining that someday home video and the freeze-frame button would make it possible for rodent gawkers to fully examine him.

A scene from "Barnyard Battle" (1929):

Times they have changed. If they did a scene like that now, Mickey would have to have some drawn-on polkadot boxers underneath his drawn-on button-up pants.

But next time a former child star commits an embarassing wardrobe slip, they can just say it's a Disney tradition.

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Blame it on the merengue...

He should have just said he was listening to Sergio Vargas mashups on his ipod and that's what all the toe-tapping was about.

Of course, his real shame is having voted for the Iraq war and ruining the lives of milions of people along the way, but I doubt that will register with anyone.

I am surprised you can get arrested for just toe-tapping and hand gestures. Call me old fashioned but that just doesn't sound like a complete sex experience. Can I ask the police to look into the airport security guys who always want to grope me?

What was the Idaho senator doing in Minneapolis anyway? A connecting flight maybe. In the mad rush to run him out of office, I was waiting for someone to blame him for the big Minnesota bridge collapse. But as we learned from 9/11, Republicans aren't good at connecting the dots.

Friday, August 24, 2007

the Decline (part II)

I wonder who the lucky KGB agent is that has to wax Vladimir Putin's chest before photo-ops?

I'm sure some cheery person will say "that's not bad for 53", which I will say is right up there with "you're really tall for a midget."

I hope this isn't the start of a trend among tyrants. We don't want to see Kim Jong-Il, the ayatollahs, or Hugo Chavez on vacation with their shirts off.

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Comrades in Arms...

... and lips and tongues and throats and tonsils and...

(Soviet postage stamp from the 60's)

Runner-up snarky comments:

-Cold War not all that cold.
-Ivan, is that a Kalishnikov under your trenchcoat or are you just happy about the new Five-Year Plan...?
-Summer of Love, Soviet Style
-You can't tell the comrades from the comradettes without a program.
-That stamp is just for a regular letter. Wait til you see the stamp for "Oversize Package"!
-Pioneering attempt at eastern european gay porn, marred by failure to remove clothes.
-Blame it on Tchaikovsky!
-Perfectly normal, just checking for secret documents.

And somehow this ad seems an appropriate complement:

Back in the day, I remember TV interviewer Charlie Rose playing that for a Soviet official who, unsurprisingly, was not amused.

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Frankenstein Goes to College

When this title card came up I was sure this was just going to be a silly internet gag.

But no, this is the long-thought-lost 1910 Thomas Edison Studio production of "Frankenstein"!

Watch it on the internets: Thomas Edison's "Frankenstein"

I find most silent movies before about 1920 to be pretty hard to watch but once you get past the primitive nature of the film in general (no close-ups!), you'll see some very cool cinema happening. The scene where Frankenstein "cooks up" the monster is surprisingly creepy and the metaphor of the mirror shot at the end is quite clever.

Hmmm... do you suppose the actor playing the sinister inventor:

...took any inspiration from his boss?:

I'm sure that internet video has done nothing to improve the image quality but I bet that when originally projected in 35mm on a big screen this was a striking movie.

Saturday, August 11, 2007


Let's see... Monte would have been 55 today. Here's pic from our trip to the Statue of Liberty in cross-your-eyes 3D.

Friday, August 10, 2007

Farm Report IV: Harvest time

In no particular order, a few of the the things that actually got to the edible stage...

ears of corn

served with peaches

el cantalope grande

I've made lots of tomato sauce with these

genuine blackberry jam

The watermelon and butternut squash on the side of the house were a failure. They appeared to grow alright but all got stolen before they were even ripe. Next year I'll try growing something there that no one will steal, like broccoli. Or beans.

Wednesday, August 08, 2007

the decline of standards in male attractiveness

I've been hearing people refer to Presidential candidate Mitt Romney variously as "handsome" or "a pretty boy" depending on what side they are on.

Something must be wrong with my eyes.

But I think this venture is just waiting to be derailed by the discovery of several empty tins of black shoe polish in the Romney Campaign trash bin.

Friday, August 03, 2007

another bridge to nowhere

I notice that after every man-made disaster in this country there's a rush by officials to insist terrorism wasn't involved. They have no idea what caused the bridge to collapse, but they are already sure it wasn't terrorists.

Just brainstorming here... if a skilled engineer was willing to drive a car bomb into a Scottish airport, couldn't a skilled engineer figure out what few elements he would have to weaken to bring a bridge down? Unlikely, I know. I expect we'll find out it's our fault for not building the bridge decently in the first place.

Growing up in Minnesota, I'm sure I traveled over that bridge many times, but I can't place it specifically. There are lots of bridges between the Twin Cities.

"They" are estimating that bridge will cost $250 million to replace. About the cost of two days in Iraq.

So I guess that means the cost of the war is just about right since a tragedy like this is an every-other-day occurance in Iraq now, thanks to us and our President, who promised us it was necessary.