Monday, April 23, 2007

Farm Report II

According to the seed packet, edible ears of corn will appear here in 28 more days. I dunno. The squash is growing well but that has at least two more months to go.

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

More Raccoons

Apparently one does not have a raccoon in one's house. One has raccoons.

Two I trapped, three more conveniently climbed into the tub and couldn't get out.

Off to the park with the lot of them.

Monday, April 16, 2007

My American Idol Prediction

I predict there will be an increase in interest in adopting babies from India. White babies will still get the highest price, but a favorable media impression will get people open to other possibilities. It's like what "101" did for dalmations.

That would be a big realignment for most Americans. Consider that John McCain's 2000 presidential campaign was derailed by a push-poll stating that he had a "mixed race" baby.

Is he really talentless? The way most of us sing is to follow someone else and match their pitch after we hear it. Which means we're always behind. We pretend we aren't, but we are. And most of us won't even open our mouths to sing without the safety in numbers that a church congregation or a ballpark crowd will give us. Most of us have no idea how awful we are at singing.

John Phillip Sousa predicted that recorded music ("canned music" was a phrase he coined) would destroy casual music-making and he was right. There was a time when most people enjoyed singing and did it reasonably well. The traditions of negro sprituals, sea shanties and blue collar work songs grew out of the fact that singing was a very common thing to do.

Mostly gone now. Now we have to have a televised contest to find someone who can sing.

So for this kid to stand alone on stage with the band more than 20 feet away and with no instrument doubling his melody and still be able to pull the right (usually) pitches out of mid-air and on-time... that's significant in itself. Are the other contestants better? Don't know. Haven't heard any of them.

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Done caught me a 'coon

Aside from the zombies, there is a bit of an animal problem here in the big city.
I finally caught the raccoon that's been living in my house for the last year. I could hear him skittering around in the space between the ceiling joists. Sometimes I'd even see him peering at me from the hole in the kitchen ceiling. (Yes, I have a hole in my kitchen ceiling. Why do people act like that's something unusual?)

At night he'd sneak in the pet door in the back of the house and eat the dog food. He was a clever one; he'd managed to get the food from that trap several times without springing it. But I'm sure he'll be living large in the park with lots of nuts and berries and trash cans to keep him occupied.

Tip: Put a towel under your raccoon cage while you're transporting a raccoon. They pee at random intervals.

Friday, April 06, 2007


Karl Rove while working on the 1972 Nixon campaign. Obviously still in the larval stage, not yet having metamorphosed into the grotesque creature he is now.

There isn't a gym membership, workout plan, or crash diet that will ever be able to undo 35 years of lying about people and lying to them.

Remember that, kids. You can fool all of the people some of the time, but you'll end up fat and bald if you do.